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Business has been tough lately, meaning clients and revenue have been stagnant. Sometimes when that happens, I find myself questioning everything. That’s part of why I’m writing this article—so I can get back in the right state of mind.

What is it about money that can get to the core of who we are so quickly?

It’s a bigger issue than most of us care to admit.

Not enough money, well, that's called poverty. I've been there. I hate it, and you probably do too.

Just enough money can be frustrating because you feel you can never get ahead.

Too much money? Honestly, I've never heard someone say they have too much money. But if no matter how much you have it’s never enough, well, that’s a big problem, too.

Seems like a catch-22, doesn't it?

5 Rules for a Healthy Relationship with Money

What's the proper way to relate to money? Is it "the root of all evil" as some Bible thumpers like to say?

In case you wondered, the Bible doesn't actually say money is the root of all evil. It says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils.

That's a big difference.

Money is not evil. Craving it, striving after it, lusting for it, or loving it—above everything else—leads to evil. Like the internet or a hammer, money is a tool that can be used for evil purposes or good purposes depending on the hand that wields it.

Luckily, there is some ancient wisdom that can help us here.

#1 - Be Generous First

There is one antidote for greed and materialism. It's called generosity. The Hebrews/Israelites—one of the oldest continuously existing cultures on earth—gave tithes. The word "tithe" simply means a tenth. Though tithes were mandatory after the law of Moses, they have always been more about heart posture and taking care of others.

Generosity was built into their culture, and I recommend building it into yours.

I don't care if it's 10%, but I recommend giving a percentage. For some people, 10% is burdensome, and for others, it's a drop in the bucket. When you give by percentage, as your income increases, so does your generosity! Give it to causes you love, people who need it, or projects you want to support. Here are some recommendations as you consider this:

• Give it first, not last. At the top of my budget is generosity. Why be generous first? Because first things matter, and they set the tone for what comes after. It does something in your heart when the first thing you do with your hard-earned money is give some away.
• Reevaluate it each year. If your income rises significantly or falls for some reason, you can adjust the percentage.
• Automate it if possible (or at least some of it). It can become a burden if you're always having to write checks (if anyone does that anymore) or go online and put in your card information.

There have been times when we didn’t have money to give. And while money is important, it’s not all we have to give. We can also give of our time and talents. We can and should be generous with those as well, but especially when money isn’t an option.

My wife was the one who taught me, we always have something we can give.

#2 - Pay Yourself Second

When it comes to savings, financial experts typically tell you to pay yourself first, but I recommend paying yourself second. It's still near the top but it should come after generosity.

Be generous first, pay yourself second, and then use the rest for living expenses and leisure.

#3 - You Don't Own Anything

Here's how I know this is true: you can't take anything with you when you die. It's not that "ownership" isn’t important. If you want to build wealth you have to own assets. Rather, I'm suggesting you remind yourself regularly that you can't take anything with you.

In truth, we are stewards, not owners. A steward oversees or manages resources on behalf of someone else. Who is that someone else? It differs for each person. For some, it is God; for others, it may be your children or the organizations you plan to leave your wealth to. Either way, I think we can agree on this—we can't take one cent of it with us when we die.

Naked we came from our mother's womb, and naked we shall return!

#4 - Money Pales in Comparison to This

You can always make more money, but you can never get back time. Therefore, time is more valuable than money. But there's something even more valuable than time: your attention. Everything is vying for our attention these days. The longer I live, the more I’m convinced of this.

Attention is often the greatest gift we can give to another person.

When we are focused on money, our attention is elsewhere. And that means it's not on who (or) what is most important to us.

Money is important. Time is valuable. But attention is invaluable.

#5 - You're Trying Too Hard

Aldous Huxley said, "It's dark because you're trying too hard." Often when I'm struggling, I initially go into panic mode and strive for a way out…until I realize it doesn't help to focus on things I can't control. The Serenity Prayer offers me comfort in those times:

When you can’t go around something, the only way is over or through.

It's part of the process to make you into a stronger, more compassionate person.

Transform Your Relationship with Money

These are my five rules for finance. They help me keep a healthy perspective on money. Without the right perspective, you will be tossed to and fro like the waves of the ocean.

How is your relationship with money? What mindsets do you need to adjust? What practices do you need to start or stop? Pick one of the five rules and write down one mindset to adopt and one step you need to take in the next 24-48 hours to improve your relationship with money.

Share your thoughts in the comments at the end of the post or reach out to me directly. I'd love to hear how you're applying these rules to your financial life.

Next week, we begin a series on Aritificial Intelligence or AI.

Until then,

PS - Effective writing takes time and margin to write. Buy Me a Coffee so I can keep on creating!

Sources

1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.”

Job 1:21, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return.”

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